The Same Two Cops

Saturday night I went out to New Paltz to have food and drinks with some friends. I got there around 9PM, we hit up McGillicuddy's (great waffle fries) and P&Gs (where at one point we were pretty much the only people in the place), and I left around 2:30. And that's when the night got interesting.

In an attempt to bypass any law enforcement encounters, I decided to stay off 299 for as long as I could and opted for a side road. But I soon had headlights behind me, and I knew it was a cop. Sure enough, the lights go on. State trooper. I pull over, turn off my radio, roll down my window, and wait. The following is the encounter as best I can remember it.

The cop first asked for my registration, which I fished out of the glove box of him. He told me that he had pulled me over because my license came up as suspended. I assured him that I had no reason to think that was true. He asked for my license and double-checked with me that the information on my license and the registration were correct. He gave my registration to the second cop who was with him, then abruptly asked me, "Where do you stop at a stop sign?" I was somewhat befuddled by this question and thought it was some kind of trick. I slowly answered, "At the stop sign." "Not in the middle of the intersection?" he asked. "No," I said. He then asked if I was in a hurry to get home. I told him that I had to work tomorrow, but other than that not really. Then it really got good.

The second cop came up the other side of my car and the cop I was talking to asked me to unlock my passenger door. I did, and the second cop opened the door and reached down by my backpack. I thought he was going for my spray-on sunblock when he brings his hand up, looks at his fingers, then shuts the door. Then the first cop says to the second cop, "Is that cocaine?" WHAT?! I get asked directly, "Is there cocaine in your car?" "Absolutely not," I respond.

"Be honest," he said, "how hammered are you right now?"
"I'm not hammered at all. I had a couple beers with dinner around 9PM, but that's it." (Close enough for jazz.)
"On a scale of zero to 10?"
"I'm a zero."
"When was your last drink?"
"Probably around 10PM."
"Four hours ago?"
"Yes."
"Alright, please follow my finger with just your eyes." So I did.

At this point the second cop comes back with my registration and saying something about letters being mixed up. The first cop gives me a funny look, hands me my registration and says, "Clerical error. Have a good night." The cops do a u-turn and head back the other way, while I continue going straight.

Nine miles later, I went through the toll plaza for the Mid-Hudson Bridge at the same time as another car - I immediately went into the left lane while the other person stayed in the right. All of a sudden I had two bright headlights behind me, and then the flashers went on. I was getting pulled over AGAIN! And not only was I getting pulled over, but so was the other car. I was trying to think of why we could both be getting stopped, and could only come up with both of us driving a little too much over the 25mph speed limit. I pull over, turn my radio off, roll my window down, and wait.

The cop comes up and says, "License and registration, please."
"Sure - it's in my pocket."

I hand him my license and he says, "Have I seen you already tonight?"
"Well, I've gotten pulled over already tonight, but I don't know if it was you."
"Are you the typo guy?" he asked.
"Yes."
"Have a good night, boss."

SERIOUSLY? I got pulled over twice in one night. By the same cops. Nine miles apart. And do I have cocaine in my car? What the hell is that all about?

3 comments

  • Tim

    Tim

    Two Cops, One Car

    Two Cops, One Car

  • Steve Schultz

    Steve Schultz

    Don't think I haven't thought of that joke already.

    Don't think I haven't thought of that joke already.

  • Tim

    Tim

    Nice to see we're still in the same mindset

    Nice to see we're still in the same mindset

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© STEVE SCHULTZ